But seriously: after leaving coffee and regularly embracing tea, I have been consuming a lot of homemade scones lately.

Despite scones' long and privileged position at the tail of my social media bios, I've only just begun baking them. For years, a nearby store sold excellent "American" scones (wedge-shaped with fruit or icing, the kind some Americans seem to think is part of the definition of a paper cup of coffee with a paper heat guard around the middle, especially when served in a separate paper bag). But the stock has suddenly halted, leaving strong demand across the demographic of people who are me.

So strong was this demand that it proved the first force capable of ushering me into any baking routine. I have acquired a rudimentary feel for the behaviour of flour in various ratios to liquid, and a developing sense for the effects of sugar, butter, eggs, or baking powder. This is a change which, prior to day 14000, even I might have thought out of my own character.